Published: Monday 3rd of February 2025
Who are my real friends?
Don't we all think that family is our most trusted people? Surprise, surprise, not always, but who are the people we can trust the most? In everything, love is the key but wait! Don't we love our brothers, sisters, and parents? Of course, in a way, but simply because they are family.
The problem is, sometimes family are the ones who oppose the most our own personal choices in life. They think they know better, despite their knowledge is limited to their personal experience, their disappointment and maybe their fear. What is good for one is not necessarily good for somebody else. That can also happen between friends, of course. People can be deceitful, a brother or sister can hide facts to their advantage. They might not respect fairness, thinking it won't be seen, known or understood. This happens a lot where a will is concerned when a member of the family passed away, and often this is when we get a shock as we discover something we never thought possible in one's family. Greed and covetousness is often the reason.
But who can we trust? Simple answer, ourselves and those who respect our choices. Love is what is needed. When there is real love between people, there is harmony, where there is harmony there is respect, there is support for a personal decision. Family can oppose our personal progress, as when we learn in life, we change, and we can hear family saying "What is happening with you? You're not the same any more, you don't do this or do that any more. You used to make jokes, but now you're more serious." They don't like it because they are used to the old self and they think there is something wrong. It is like having to come to terms with the person we were, as that person doesn't exist any more, and it is now the unknown for them. People feel uncomfortable with the unknown. What they don't realise is we might learn in life in a way that they don't. They can be living on the surface like the society is teaching us, but some people live their life in a deeper way and if we have these questions, we probably are one of those people. When we learn to take responsibility for our actions and words, with sincerity, we gradually change for the better. We learn to trust ourselves, to have faith in life, to become better people. We learn to love, real love meaning to be tolerant, patient, compassionate, etc... Furthermore, we gradually find peace within. Making jokes is not a bad thing, but sometimes it is also hiding unhappiness inside. We can be trying unconsciously to uplift ourselves from sadness, the feelings are stored within from maybe a long time, and we are often not aware of those feelings.
We should never stop ourselves from doing what we feel to do, no matter what others think. This can be the difference between a happy and unhappy life. The thing is, it is better to live through our own mistakes than somebody else's mistake. We will learn from that. We can waste or destroy our life for following what is in opposition to our choices, and usually people are not there any more to help or support us in our difficulty. A good example is a parent pushing the child to become something they don't really want to be, the child wants to be an artist, but the parent pushes so their son or daughter becomes a doctor or a lawyer. One day the parents are gone, but the child still has their life to live, and unfortunately they feel they failed, they are not happy in what they are doing and find it difficult to make the change after all those years and what they built. The parents who are responsible are not the ones having to live their child's life. Frustration is most of the time the result for the now adult, which is another feeling that darkens the mind, preventing peace of mind and happiness.
So yes family is the best when there is full harmony in the house, the same with friends, as they would always support instead of forcing their way of thinking. Otherwise, it means opposition, which is our worst enemy. Traditions and customs are also often a problem, as they often stop us doing as we feel.
Nobody can be more trustable than our own self where our life is concerned and our feelings are the most important things.
Author: Daniel